Full Moon Spread

I haven't done a daily rune for a while as I've been very busy with work. But I was away at my mums over the full moon and did my first full spread.

The spread I used was a bifrost spread and I had in mind anything to do with my path and my craft. This is how I interpreted the spread.

First Rune - Past Attitude
Rune: Dagaz (pulled on it's side, so classing as reversed)
In it's true form it means transformation and change. In the form I pulled it I am reading it as A false dawn, the past was faked and not real. Your daylight is yet to come.


Second Rune - Past Effects
Rune: Nauthiz (true form)
In it's true form it means necessity. What you needed not what you craved.

Third Rune - Present Attitude
Rune: Tiwaz (true form)
In it's true form it means Warrior and is also linked to a Tuesday (which is what day the full moon fell on). Victory, the right path.

Fourth Rune - Present Effect
Rune: Isa (true form)
In it's true form this means Ice. Be carful to guard well against outside influences.

Fifth Rune - Future Attitude
Rune: Ansuz (reversed)
In it's true form it is linked to Odin as the messenger, but reversed it means that the messenger could give false information.

Sixth Rune - Future Effects
Rune - Hagalaz (true form)
In it's true form this means disruption. A disruptive influence can change your direction.

Seventh Rune - Outcome
Rune - Algiz (reversed)
In it's true form it means protection, reversed it clearly states I am unprotected.

My full interpretation
A stale past, yet it was needed for the time. Right now you are on the right track but there is a disruptive force in your future, which will cause friction in the form of false information which you are unprotected from.

Rune Work: Daeg

Today's rune is: Daeg

What it means to me:
It is shaped like an egg timer. Depending on where I pull it in the reading I would say it relates to time.

What the book says:
Dawn and growth, awakening and new enterprise. Transformation and happiness.

Notes:
The way I pulled it compared to what way round it is meant to be is what led me to believe my reasoning behind it. It seems I was looking at it not in it's intended way.

The thoughts in my head when I pulled it:
 What am I going to wear when I go out tonight? I know it seems a trivial thing, and it wasn't what I was using the runes for, it just felt like the right time to pull one for my blog and learning because the bag fell onto my keyboad.

Rune Work: Fehu

Today's rune I pulled was Fehu.

To me
It looks like someone reaching up to the skies and I knew it was the F in FUTHARK. So to me it felt like beginning.

The Sheet
According to the sheet it is a symbol of wealth  and abundance.

Next Step
Try to meditate more on what something means other than it's look. Unlike tarot, the runes cannot give much away.

Things to research or; "The aftermath of the night before"

• Mermaids and their relation to spirit guides. 
• How a fire sign can have an affinity to water and if this is anything to do with drowning in France as a child. 
• A trip to my powerhouse at Westminster Bridge (centre of the Thames) 
• Research of this powerhouse

Context; a story of the past, the cottage and the players within.

When I began with the idea of starting this blog at the early hours of this morning I had an entire monologue planned out. Again, I find it such a shame we can't record the thoughts our brains have, like a dict-a-phone for the mind.

I used to be powerful. I used to be strong. The past was my playground and I was a different person. As the healthy mind set in it began to wonder if mine were delusions or reality, and settled for delusions over reality for the need of a much happier life.

As a roleplayer and gamer it is easy to mistake fantasy for reality, and as such I relented to the fact that maybe, for a very long time, I was lost.

The past. 

Back in the day I was prominent in my coven. The second of such, the first was a failure, I was too much for them to handle, even as priestess. Candles were broken, flames were blown, and bonds were severed. The second however, we all had a common goal. Our journey had a destination, and that was war. The 'big bad' was coming and we were charged to find others like us. Xavier, Rowan and myself headed this group. We found others willing to follow, and others willing but unable.

I grounded myself with the reality that I was a child borne from the tree of Yggdrasil. That my father was Thor, my mother unknown, and my lover was Loki. I knew of many others who claimed to be lovers of Gods, but Xavier insisted that I was a demigod. At the time I took no qualms in accepting it, today however, a lingering bad taste in my mouth yet also the sweet feeling of familiarity. This is the line that blurs.

Our fights were arduous and tolling on battlefields with some and with others and with those that tried to steal our essence, which I later found to be called emotional or energy leaches/vampires. I also worked out that I too worked better once I fed from others. The night club we frequented became our hunting ground, and I would stand at the edge of the dance floor as wave after wave of energy, from the emotional and angst ridden youths who poured all their pain into the music, spread out to me and I absorbed it.

Lunr joined our group, and at first he was accepting, understanding and agreed that soon our army would fight the 'big bad' that threatened our existence. Our existence. Not the human race, not some apocalyptic ending of time, but a change, one that would set to bury us. We had to defend what we were.

He accepted the three inside of me; the monster, the protector and the scholar. I was the little black cat that housed them. Jade, Fae and Ami. There were others occasionally, nine I believe we counted, but they were lesser and in the end only the three and I remained.

As time went on, Lunr turned my mind against Xavier and Rowan. Even though Xavier could be a cock, and especially to Rowan, I still owed him my gratitude for aiding me on my path. There was a time that Rowan went missing, and with Xavier out looking for her, I was able to get her location from communicating with Thor and contact him to get her. After time though enough was enough and I ran. I ran from my powers, my being and myself.

The Cottage in the woods 

The three lived in a large white cottage. A cylindrical tower to the west, which housed all of the magic and our power in a massive, gravity defying library. The front door opened onto a hall way, with wooden steps leading up to the bedrooms, to the right was the kitchen and the left was the entry to the tower. Behind the stairs was the entry to the basement, and to the side of that the lounge area. The cottage was devoid of any modern amenities such as televisions, computers etc. It wasn't that we didn't have them, it's that they didn't need to exist. The kitchen had a large wooden table and large cast iron cooking area with a cauldron and strings of herbs above it. The whole house had herbs spread throughout it, drying, curing and doing what ever it was that we needed it to do.

Outside was a white picket fence, a small white path (that glowed in a full moon) which led to a clear babbling brook. The wood surrounded it, calm but not thick. This was a safe and happy place.

The Monster

Jade. Jet black hair, green eyes and a body to die for. She was out for blood and by god she would get it. Woe betide her getting a taste of yours, once she did she never let go. In the end, Xavier and I locked her in a stone cage in the basement, with chains of silver. We found this fitting given my ties to Loki.

The Protector. 

Fae was the mother of the group. Her soul aim was to help me. She could be a little distrustful of new people, and given my past, the various times I had been beaten and raped, it took her time to warm to new men around me.

Long golden hair, that sometimes shone red in the right light. Kind green eyes and a goddess in leather. She loved her motorcycles, Jack Daniel's and Marlborough reds. If you saw me smoking, it was Fae who was in charge.

The scholar. 

Ami was the brains. When a problem presented itself she would draw up a solution. She was, however, mute and Fae protected her with all of her energy. It was because of Jade's hate of Ami that we decided it was a good idea to dispose of her.

Another new beginning?


When I ran, Lunr followed me. It seemed like the right thing, a new start, a new city, a new us. I don't remember much other than Fae was closer to the top than any of the others. I stopped practising, I stopped visiting the cottage, I stopped talking to Thor and Loki. I stopped everything. The only thing I remember is one day being lucid enough to agree to meeting Charlie and my life began to change again. It was only six months after moving to London, and a couple of months after Lunr had followed me.

Fae tried her best to push Charlie away, and soon she was gone too. It was now I decided it was all my fault, all in my head and that none of the past was real. It was a fantasy gone too far. I didn't have power, I didn't have strength. How much of this was my decision or the grip of Lunr over me I don't know. I don't remember anything other than having occasionally happy and lucid moments in what was a sea of tears and self loathing.

I had promised Thor in 2003 that I would not take my life again, and when in 2006 I wanted to do it, I couldn't go back on my word, even if I did believe that that world wasn't real. What did it matter anyway, I also believed I had an expiry date. Events way before the time of the coven dictated this to me. Ten days after my 27th birthday I would be no more, so what did it matter what I did now. That birthday, two weeks after meeting Charlie, was my 27th. Ten days later, he held me tight as I waited to be taken. Nothing happened, not that I know of. I think there was a battle of sorts, but I chose not to believe in that any more.

The present


From then until now, nothing much happened in a magical or spiritual sense. I kept on with my tarot reading, until it got too much for me to handle then I'd put them away again. I didn't want to believe there were these powers within me, if the past was real then what could being so accurate with my readings actually do to the world. In the past, when asking for sun, it came, when asking for rain, it came, but it came with dire consequences else where. Floods, death and destruction always followed the times I tried to change things.

The most I ever did was some meditation and healing. Until maybe the last year or so, where I have been wanting to know if the past was real, and to fill in the blank spots I have created. Charlie has also wanted to know more about himself, I think maybe we awoke things in our safety with each other that need to be explored, but having seen the damage it can do, I am a little reluctant to do so.

A journey of the mind


Last night, a mutual friend of ours, offered to help him with his path. To see if a spirit walk could open anything up to him. Earlier in that day I had come across a bag of runes. For year runes had fascinated me but I had never found something that drew me, these did. About an hour before he told me the spirit walk was happening I had felt the need to pull a rune from the bag, a practise I am wanting to do each day, when it feels right, to learn what they mean to me before reading up on their desired meaning.

this is not
 a picture
of my rune,
but a
googled image

The rune is called Sigel and to me it looked like a lightning bolt. I was at first drawn to thinking maybe Thor was back around me. The meaning in the booklet I got with the runes was "contact between higher self and unconsciousness", so when the offer was given to me to begin this spirit walk, I jumped at it.

This is what was revealed to me, and the main reason for all the context and history bumf above.

The field came to me, vivid and bright yellow. Corn swaying in the breeze, a hint of strawberries on the horizon. The sky was blue, only one or two bright white clouds in it. The sun was warm and there was no fear of bugs or bees. I was wearing a soft cotton dress, my hair felt light and airy. As I walked, the door appeared in the distance. Red and square, a large black knob on the right hand side and a rusted key hole under it. The pain was pealing from the door, but other than that it looked in all right shape.

At first, I walked round it, not opening it yet, but just seeing that it was a free standing door in the middle of a corn field. The door was curious to me and eventually I opened it. Behind the door was not the rest of the corn field but a dark threshold. I stepped through the door, standing bare footed on (what I should have perceived to be cold, but had no feeling) the stone floor. The darkness surrounded me, and the warm feeling of the corn field went away, but I didn't feel cold, or anything, as if that sense had been taken away.

The threshold, and the subsequent steps in front of it were the same colour as the runes I had just bought, Sodalite. They were edged a little in gold at times. To my right was a picture, in a gold gilt frame, like you see on an old and famous painting in a gallery in France. The picture was purple and swirly and had no form. It looked like you could stick your hand inside and play with the swirls, like paint upon the surface of the water.

No matter how much I stared at it, the swirls stayed various shades of purple, and kept on swirling. I descended a little further, the feeling that the walls had more things on them, but it was too dark to see. Once I reached the bottom there was a dark, black pool of water.

I dangled my feet into it, the water was cool and felt nice. I thought I saw a shark, but it was a mermaid and she helped me into the water. She guided me under the water and we came out in my safe zone that I use in meditation and mindfulness. A large lake of water, a small waterfall falling over a cave to my right. The cave is usually where I spend my time. Usually the lake is just surrounded by woods, causing a safe barrier to whatever may be on the other side. This time though, the white cottage stood there.

The cottage had lost its lustre. The windows looked dark, the white paint was pealing, and the thatched roof was neglectful looking. The garden was over grown and wild and the picket fence was broken and lacked paint. The door still seemed sturdy and shut. I hadn't been here in three or four years.

From the safety of the lake (the mermaid had gone by this point) I watched the house. It scared me, and I didn't know why. I didn't know why it was there, after all this time, after the integration of my personalities into me to create the happy person I am today.

I wanted to go in. I wanted to move from the water, but I couldn't. The mermaid placed her hand on my shoulder and said we had to go. I stayed, watching the house for a few moments more before following her back to the pool at the foot of the stairs.

Then, almost too quick I was pulled up and out of the water, fast backwards out of the door as it slammed shut in my face. I wanted to open it again, but I knew if I did that behind it would only be the rest of the corn field.

When I came to, I felt disconnected, and for most of the evening (and well into most of this morning) I felt surplus to requirements and not really here. I still don't know why the cottage has returned, or what of what we left in the basement.

This is what I saw, this is what I felt, and this is why I felt the need to begin a new journal for a new journey as I think I damn well am going to begin again to find my power.